Security Office

Si vos can lego is, nos can effrego vestri genua.

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Security Office Report #52

Wake up Emperor's Hammer Territories, This is Fleet Admiral Conker Blackwood Lord and Master of all i see. First up, this weeks motivational poster.

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News Time Children
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Security Office News

Everyone was behaving this week, congrats.

AD Conker was Promoted to FA, Congrats.

Random Executions Will continue as planned due to the Steelers being on a bye week.

The Editors of SO reports have been executed for not noticing a glaring typo in the introduction that's been there for months. We apologies for this inconvenience.

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Computer Security News

20 essential apps for your windows computer.

Adobe PDF format riddled with exploitable features.

Mac osX, the most dangerous OS.

The definitive Facebook lockdown guide.

Fake Microsoft security update carries autorun worm.

Critical vulnerability in img burn.

Finallyfast.com refunds thousands in scareware suite.

Mac app store already cracked.

My first status scam spreads on facebook.

Malware in fake White House e-card steals data.

Windows image rendering flaw.

Researcher publishes method for bypassing flash local-with-filesystem sandbox.

MacOs updated.

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Other News

Brett Favre sued for sexual harassment.

Counterfeit shakeweights?

Powerbalence forced to admit there's no proof it works.

5 ridicules gun myths everyone believes.

50,000 stolen iTunes accounts for sale in china.

Spam from Rustoc, lethic and xarvester disappears over holidays.

Is google losing the fight against spam?

Feds eyeing Internet ID for all americans.

Doritos commercial pulled from superbowl.

Plastic detects when food is spoiled, changes color.

QWEST field beer scandal.

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We Interrupt your regularly scheduled SO report for this..

As next week marks one year of me as Security Officer i felt it would be nice to have a fond look back at the year that was. This past year has seen many events; the revising of the CoC's for the first time in a decade, the appointment of Gio to CA:SO, not one but 2 Mirei removals, the breaking up of several IRC slap fights, and the usual reporting on the latest malware to plague the cesspool we call the internet. This year also say zero members having to be courtmartaled for breaking the rules, with luck this trend will continue for the foreseeable future. I would like to thank Rapier for giving me this opportunity, Cyric for not firing me just yet, Gio for being the indispensable assistant (don't tell him i said that it could over inflate his ego), and Ronin for keeping this club going.

As we move forward into the year, I pledge to continue to oppress this organization and generally act like the proper megalomaniac overlord the Security Officer is supposed to be, and with that bring you more frequent moral boosting random executions. But in all seriousness who knows what the next year will bring, apart from the inevitable returning of Mirei once more, its hard to predict what will happen, maybe the long awaited Security Office XWA battle will finally get started, or maybe not. And now I return you to your Regularly scheduled report.

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"What is Wrong with People?"

Toronto's first automated toilet major tourist attraction.

Not the safest idea.

Win....then celebrate.

Might as well.

Car 1 driver 0.

Political correctness results in the censoring of classic literature.

Butt dialing leads to SWAT search.

Woman calls 911 to get boyfriend to propose.

Robbing a bank with maccroni.....not the best idea.

Former worlds fattest man sues health service for making him fat.

Vandalism fail.

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This Weeks Security Top Tip.

Internet security, there's an app for that...YOUR BRAIN!

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And now some quotes:
  • (@HA_Dempsey) it's 5 pm
  • (@HA_Dempsey) what morning :)
  • (@SA_Rapier) well it's 9am here... so that morning :P
  • * HA_Dempsey was kicked by AD_Conker (silly euro timezone =P)
  • * HA_Dempsey (dempsey@53538577.cm-6-4c.dynamic.ziggo.nl) has joined #eh_bbq
  • *AD_Conker sets mode: +o HA_Dempsey
  • (@AD_Conker) COngrats dempsey, your the Security Offices first kick of the year! =P
  • (@SA_Rapier) feel the love... or the lack of apathy... not sure which :P
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-FA Conker Blackwood