Security Office

Si vos can lego is, nos can effrego vestri genua.

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Security Office Report #53

Wake up Emperor's Hammer Territories, This is Fleet Admiral Conker Blackwood Lord and Master of all i see. First up, this weeks motivational poster.

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News Time Children
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Security Office News

Everyone was behaving this week, congrats.

Random Executions are called off due to the Steelers beating the Ravens and eliminating them from the playoffs.

Astatine has been banned from the EH. Due to the treacherous nature of his actions by stealing property of the Emperor's Hammer, for his paranoia towards virtually every single member of the EH causing the club to stagnate and for his callous disregard of the precepts put forth by the club founder, Astatine is officially being banned by the Emperor's Hammer.
His rank, medals, awards and positions have been stripped, and he will not be allowed to rejoin the Emperors Hammer. Also he has been lovingly added to the Emperor's Hammer's Most Wanted List, in between Mirei Seppen and Darknyte for irony's sake.
Anyone being contacted by Astatine should immedatly notify the Security Office.

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Computer Security News

Facebook closing hoax spreads like wild fire.

Social Networking biggest malware threat.

Chrome updated.

Gmail filter virus makes you a spammer.

Gamers hack medical server, play call of duty.

Iobits Advanced System Care Installs spyware and more.

Porn worm Extorts money.

Mobile Users more susceptible to scams.

Rogue Virus testers delude Consumers.

Adobe tackling Flash Cookie Privacy issue.

Piracy and counterfeit goods sites generate 53 billion visits a year.

Microsoft patches 3 Windows vulnerabilities.

Bogus Airline charge leads to Zeus malware.

Sexy Powerpoint presentations delivers malware.

Text Message of Death Threatens cellphones.

3rd party software responsible for most vulnerabilities.

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Other News

Why a CD holds 74 minutes of music.

Dirty Debt Collector sued under RICO act.

What US customs is wasting its time on.

ioSafe external drive takes shotgun blast, survives.

German firm develops internet eraser for photos.

6 worst attempts at internet damage control.

This just in, Facilitated Communication is still bunk.

Venus demilo replica made of panda poo.

Powerbalence admits its a scam, buys NBA stadium naming rights.

League of legends new idea to stop people from being jerks, bad idea.

Even Martha Stuarts Dog doesn't like her.

Chernobyl: environmental deadzone, or eco-haven?

2,500 year old beer recipe found.

Toxic Waste bars recalled because of lead. Irony?

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"What is Wrong with People?"

Lawsuit of the week.

Winona Ryder afraid of internet.

Tree Trimming fail.

Moron gets tongue stuck to frozen pole.

DON'T UNCLOG A SNOWBLOWER WITH YOUR BARE HANDS!

Dogs....their not that bright.

Duct Tape, its stronger then you think.

Their Called Snow Chains....use them.

All this....for a sprinkle doughnut.

Dempsey on the weekends.

DIY gastric bypass kit?

Not the best way to remove ice.

Text Book Irony.

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This Weeks Security Top Tip.

Safety advice for connected devices.

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And now some quotes:
  • (@AD_Eclipse) so did everyone enjoy todays comp ? (Aside from the configuration headache!)
  • (@FA_Conker) it sucked
  • (CM_Tuba) Very much so.
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-FA Conker Blackwood